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Grave Humor


On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, 
Nova  Scotia:
          Here lies
          Ezekial Aikle
          Age 102
          The Good
          Die Young.
     
In a London, England cemetery:
          Ann Mann
          Here lies Ann Mann,
          Who lived an old maid
          But died an old Mann.
          Dec. 8, 1767
     
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
          Anna Wallace
          The children of Israel wanted bread
          And the Lord sent them manna,
          Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
          And the Devil sent him Anna.
     
Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
          Here lies
          Johnny Yeast
          Pardon me
          For not rising.
     
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania 
cemetery:
          Here lies the body
          of Jonathan Blake
          Stepped on the gas
          Instead of the brake.
     
In Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
          Here lays Butch,
          We planted him raw.
          He was quick on the trigger,
          But slow on the draw.
     
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
          Sir John Strange
          Here lies an honest lawyer,
          And that is Strange.
     
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
          I was somebody.
          Who, is no business
          Of yours.
     
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for
Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in 
the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
          Here lies Lester Moore
          Four slugs from a .44
          No Les No More.
     
In a Georgia cemetery:
          "I told you I was sick!"
     
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
          Reader if cash thou art
          In want of any
          Dig 4 feet deep
          And thou wilt find a Penny.
     
On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, 
Virginia:
          She always said her feet were killing her 
          but nobody believed her.
     
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
          On the 22nd of June
            - Jonathan Fiddle -
           Went out of tune.
     
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an 
epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges 
movie:
          Here lies the body of our Anna
          Done to death by a banana
          It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
          But the skin of the thing that made her go.
     
More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, 
England:
          Gone away
          Owin' more
          Than he could pay.
     
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr.. Wood:
          In Memory of Beza Wood
          Departed this life
          Nov. 2, 1837
          Aged 45 yrs.
          Here lies one Wood
          Enclosed in wood
          One Wood
          Within another.
          The outer wood
                Is very good:
                We cannot praise
                The other.
     
On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
          Under the sod and under the trees
          Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
          He is not here, there's only the pod: 
          Pease shelled out and went to God.
     
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is 
almost a consumer tip:
          Who was fatally burned
          March 21, 1870
          by the explosion of a lamp
          filled with "R.E. Danforth's
          Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
     
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
          Born 1903--Died 1942
          Looked up the elevator shaft to see if 
          the car was on the way down. It was.
     
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
          Here lies an Atheist
          All dressed up
          And no place to go.



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